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This is a contributed post
You might have heard the notion that nobody can truly love you until you truly love yourself. We often think about this in very deep and meaningful terms, but it’s just as relevant to our physical appearance. Body confidence is like a magnet!
See, life in many ways acts like a mirror and reflects back your innermost thoughts; as an example, if you feel unlovable then you’ll find people that support that view and reaffirm this back to you. If you feel fat and ugly, you’ll be with someone that exacerbates this feeling - either because they’re not very attractive themselves or they make you feel insecure.
There is huge amounts of evidence within psychology and metaphysics to suggest “what we think about we bring about” - and our external reality is being created by our inner thoughts.
Now, in terms of our inner thoughts, our physical appearance is one area that our self-critical gaze seems to lock onto. Indeed, at times we can become obsessed with our bodies and torment ourselves with comparisons of thinner and more beautiful counterparts (even when they’re often airbrushed beyond recognition) and rather than appreciate our bodies for what they are, we hunt for lipo suction videos or other plastic surgery procedures as some form of panacea for all ills… particularly when bouncing back from a break-up.
Interestingly, we consider this obsessive critical analysis of our bodies to be a female phenomenon but guys are just as bad. Think about how hung up they get with the shape and size of their genitalia, and the cheeky peeks to see how they measure up at the urinal!
The point is, we all feel insecure about our bodies and it’s time to embrace the fact we aren’t flawless. Indeed, it’s to embrace our “flaws” and a great way to do this is to look at ourselves through the doting eyes of someone that finds us sexy and beautiful. It’s important to retain perspective and if there are improvements to be made, then go out and make them, but let’s drop the obsession with some of our most lovable parts.
If you were to go out and ask most guys whether they want a girl with a tight washboard stomach or someone with a little softness and cuddly area, the majority will say they appreciate the feminine softness. It’s all about shifting your perception to one that serves you rather than makes you feel not good enough.
One final tip, on this point, is to be mindful of who you’re comparing yourself with. Think about it, when you’re comparing your body, are you doing this with the ‘average’ person or the perfect figure. If you’re constantly comparing yourself to magazine cover models, you’re not going to feel good enough and you’re also going to lose perspective!
In summary, the key points are to remember that everyone views their body with a critical filter and very few people fully content with their body, perhaps there are certain areas they feel ecstatic about but there are always things people want to change too. It’s time to take off these critical glasses and see yourself through the eyes of someone that adores you… and in doing that, it’ll help bring your perspective back into balance.